Why Are You Asking Me? (Topic: Drugs)

The first official edition of "Why Are You Asking Me?" has been posted to the Anti-Social Talk Show RSS Feed. Listen to the Podcast on iTunes, or directly download the mp3 file HERE. Please email drzoltan@drzoltan.com to have your question answered by Dr. Zoltan and his research team!

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[Transcript begins]

You are listening to, "Why Are You Asking Me?" with Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk. [Dr. Zoltan makes several attempts but has difficulty pronouncing the "Ø."] Whatever.

[Music fades down]

Today's question was submitted by an anonymous internet user.

Dear Dr. Zoltan: Why do you act like all "drug" -- and they put the word "drug" in quotes -- use is the same? Do you not think that there are some states of consciousness that can only be attained with substances that you must acquire outside of yourself? Do you not think it is possible to do any "drug" -- and they put the word in quotes again -- in a responsible healthy virtuous intelligent manner? Question mark.

To answer your question, Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous...

Research shows that drugs can ruin your existence, depending on many factors, not the least of which is your bio-parents' genetic dice roll.

Research also shows that many people traverse their lifeline altered out of their spinning gourds, and they do fine. Dr. Zoltan is not one of those. Well, what I mean is, he does not use the chemicals... uh... doesn't necessarily do fine, is what I mean... well... whatever.

Should you take the chance and partake of a substance that may alter your budget along with your state of consciousness?

Just ask Albert Hizzenbodum. Actually, you can't ask him, because he is catatonic at the moment.

Luckily, I know his story, so I will [clears throat] tell it to you. Right now.

Albert was a bright young kid, an A student and outstanding volunteer in his community.

One day, as he rode his bicycle through an impoverished bad part of town to get to an anti-drug rally, which was organized by... let us call it... the local constabulary, he was struck by a carload of straightedge kids and now lies in a vegetative state.

These are the consequences. Let it be a lesson to you all.

[Music fades back up]

Dr. Zoltan employs a full-time research team to answer questions just like this one. If you have a question for Dr. Zoltan, please email it to drzoltan@drzoltan.com, with Attn: Speed Metal Dept. in the subject line.

[End of transcript]

Dr. Zoltan's "Why Are You Asking Me?" is syndicated by INK19.com.

SHOCKING! Are You Accidentally A VEGAN? (by Dr. Zoltan!)

SHOCKING! Are You Accidentally A VEGAN?
by Dr. Zoltan!



Do you think you are SAFE when you are drinking an entire bottle of Nescafe Ice Java Iced Coffee Syrup?

Think again!

The Center for The Advancement of Living Correctly has published a study listing foods that contain 99.9% NON-Animal Ingredients, and you just may be feeding these items to your CHILDREN.

In the early 50's, foods such as Apples, Lettuce, and even wholesome drinks like LEMONADE were converted to 100% VEGAN ingredients. Delicious trace amounts of Beef Tallow were excluded from many snack foods (including peanuts, carrots, and kidney beans) and manufacturers of these edible devices are not even required by law to LABEL them as such! And if that was not scary enough, unsuspecting consumers who are eating a large tub of Smucker's Goober Grape Peanut Butter might be in for a surprise!

Thankfully, the Center for the Advancement of Living Correctly has provided a Boycott List of Foods That Contain No Meat, Dairy, Or Eggs. Take action NOW and tell your local representatives that you do not want WATER to be added to this list!

{ This article was written and approved by Dr. Zoltan! If you felt depressed after reading it, please visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog or just lock your doors and stay inside today -- perhaps read a book. }

9 Ways To Destroy The Music Industry (by Dr. Zoltan!)

9 Ways To Destroy The Music Industry
by Dr. Zoltan!



1.) FILE-SHARING
The obvious: there is simply no way to stop people from copying files and sharing them. Things that can be copied WILL be copied. If you do not want it copied, do not make it available. Period.

2.) COPYRIGHTS
The concept of Copyrights is antiquated. Creative Commons is a more flexible alternative. http://www.creativecommons.com

3.) MEDIA
Compact Discs and DVDs will soon be extinct. They are only physical containers destined for obsolescence. Creations that can be completely digitized will all be downloaded. Good news for the environment: no more wasted paper and plastic. Good news for the creators: no more manufacturing & printing overhead. Good news for the fans: immediate download.

4.) PRODUCTS
With the extinction of physical media containers, the concept of "full-length" and "single" are useless. Temporal restrictions on creations no longer exist -- a multimedia creation can be any length. Creators can move over to a subscription, donation, patron, and secondary collectible merchandise model.

5.) RECORDING PROCESS
It is no longer necessary for composers and musicians to book time at a recording studio and rush through ten songs. Composing, recording, editing, and mixing are now all one process. Creations can be made available to the audience immediately, directly from the creator.

6.) BUSINESS
With the progress of technology, creators must provide something that cannot simply be copied. The one thing that cannot be copied is personal interaction. Creators can provide customers with a custom, interactive experience. Take requests. Sell custom remixes and edits. With all of the tools immediately available, make the creative process a daily part of your business. Creations are no longer stagnant and set in stone -- they can be modified and updated to keep the process dynamic.

7.) DISTRIBUTION
The limited distribution veins for physical product now flow outside any pipeline/boundary. Distribution boundaries have always kept potential artists from finding out if there is an audience for their art. (Courtesy of Eman Laerton) The difficult process of searching for niche artists and audiences is over.

8.) LIVE
Rather than simply performing their music live in front of a rowdy crowd, creators can appear in-person at music stores and offer live, real-time dissections of their creations. Demonstrations. Q&A. Creators can offer for the fans to inspect the creation, right then and there. An excellent instructional tool!

9.) AUDIENCE / FANS
With the availability of recording tools, most fans of music are (at the very least) amateur creators themselves. This increase of knowledge raises the bar for the professional creator, but also stimulates a higher demand for technical explanations and instructional clinics. Most fans are beginning to understand the vocabulary of the creative process, and want to be involved. This makes mass collaboration and fan participation a powerful option.

-Dr. Zoltan!

{ This article was written and approved by Dr. Zoltan! If you felt depressed after reading it, please visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog or just simply shut off your computer and take a nap. }

Dr. Zoltan Now Has His Own Official Blog!

http://www.drzoltan.com/blog/

Dr. Zoltan Offering Free Download of Emily Dickinson EP In Return For Reviews

Dr. Zoltan is offering a Free Download of his latest Digital-Only album, "Emily Dickinson Kindly Stops For Selective Serotonin Re-Uptake Inhibitors EP" in return for REVIEWS.

Instructions:

1.) Email a cleverly-written, one-sentence proposal to Dr. Zoltan: drzoltan@drzoltan.com.
2.) Include a link to (or explanation of) the place where you will publish your review of the album. (Acceptable places include: Myspace, Facebook, YouTube, Blogger, Wordpress, Livejournal, Geocities, your own domain, or any other feed or static page, including printed media or performances. Use any format you would like: audio, video, text, laser light show, tattoo, et cetera. The more creative, the better.)

Dr. Zoltan will select the TEN most-qualified candidates and email them a link to a .zip file containing the complete mp3 album at 192k bitrate. Once all of the reviews are created and posted, they will be published on www.drzoltan.com (and distributed to all of his aggravated distribution channels) with a link back to your original review / site.

Listen to an mp3 sample of the album here: http://www.mutantmall.com/mp3/mmm005-preview.mp3

Find out more about the album here: http://www.mutantmall.com/mmm005.php

-Dr. Zoltan!

WillMaier.net Updated

Will Maier's FlashPressKit has been updated with new photos.

Sir Millard Mulch Ibanez Videos Now On Myspace!

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.viewVideos&channelid=375912